Single Malt Poetry

I’d never eaten a White Castle burger before today. We don’t have them in East Tennessee now and while there are locations in Middle and West Tennessee, I don’t recall them being there when I was growing up or going to college the first time. Still, as someone who listened to the Beastie Boys in the 80’s, I knew of White Castle. We have Krystal here, and since both chains sell teeny tiny square hamburgers, I’ve always assumed they were pretty much the same thing.

Boy was I wrong. I don’t really eat Krystal burgers anymore, mainly because even folks who like them regularly refer to them as “gut busters” or “gut bombs” and in my opinion those terms are pretty accurate. I spoke to Teresa about this today and she referred to Krystal burgers as “slimy things that taste good.” And they do taste good, but they are slimy/greasy and they do terrible things to my stomach after I’ve eaten them.

On the way back from Dayton, today, I pulled off to fill up the tank and noticed a White Castle. I hadn’t eaten anything after just barely making it out of the hotel in time for my (late) checkout, so I figured I’d give them a try. I ordered four cheeseburgers and while that was plenty of food, I found myself wishing I’d ordered more. Simply put, there is no comparison between White Castle burgers and Krystal burgers. These little cheeseburgers tasted fresh, weren’t at all greasy or slimy, and even the buns felt and tasted fresh. I doubt I’d eat them very often since I try to stick to fish and occasionally chicken these days, but I wish we had a White Castle in East Tennessee.

So my advice to anybody who has been living under the mistaken impression that White Castle = Krystal is to give them a shot. They’re pretty good.